Words By GuevaraGhost Originally Posted On 9.29.05

Continued from B-B-Bussssst A Move!!!

Now I hear that "Pete the Pop Lockin Playa" and his friend “Hustlin Hank” (yes, thats what they call themselves) were trying to get their hands on the German chick. Tonight! God does my life suck! She’s a sweet girl and very impressionable. Now these dancer kids who run the school are probably gonna foul her before I get my shot.

My shoulders are killing me.

This kid DJ Tanner is gonna be on the wheels of steel for the competition. I’m cool with him and he wished me luck when I saw him today. He said he’s been saving some of his dopes beats and freshest grooves especially for tomorrow. I wanna be ready for whatever he puts on. I can feel the funk in the blood. If dancing was a house, Poppin’ Pete would be evicted!

So I get to school this morning all braided up and there’s a huge buzz about the contest tonight. People I don’t even know heard about my story started wishing me luck in the hallway. I’m in the library during my 3rd period study hall and one of Poppin Pete’s henchmen “Funky Brewster” (again, I’m sorry, all the kids in my school are total douches and refuse to go by their real name) comes over and starts talking to me.

He says that Pete The Pop Lockin’ Playa heard about all the junk I’ve been talking and wants to challenge me to a dance fight after school, before the Harlem Shake Contest. I’m like I told him I had to practice my routine for tonight and I was totally against unsanctioned dance contests.

So now it’s lunch time and I see Poppin’ Pete and Hustlin’ Hank making a bee line right for my table. I’m sitting there with Anna enjoying my kiwi strawberry Capri Sun and Pete is like “You better get down (dance) or lay down (die). 3PM, out by the dumpsters in the parking lot. ”

I couldn’t back down in front of Anna so I was like “Sorry to knock your Hustle, Hank, but it looks like your boy Pete is gonna get Popped!” In my head I was like, what the hell am I getting myself into. Word spread around school quick.

Now it’s almost 3PM, I can’t find Anna and there’s no way to get out of this. I make my way toward the dumpsters and I see this huge crowd. It’s Poppin’ Pete and the rest of his goonies — “Hustlin’ Hank”, “Funky Brewster”, “Willie Wiggles,” and “Newman Beatbox.”

I see Poppin’ Pete and he’s got his hands around Anna teaching her to do the Thunder Clap. I’m heated.

As soon as she saw me she ran over and said I didn’t have to do this. Someone could get seriously hurt or even expelled and to save all my energy for tonight’s contest. I just said, “I danced my way into this mess and now I’m gonna dance my way out” and tossed my Jansport to the side…

Nobody had a radio so “Newman Beatbox” said he would lay down a stone cold groove. He sets it off with a little “BOOM, BAP, BOOM BOOM BOOM, BAP!”

Pete starts Harlem Shaking. He starts with a couple rare combo’s I’ve never seen and he says: “SHA SHA, SHAKE, SHA SHAKE SHAKE… SHAKE SOMETHIN’!”

His whole crew was like “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

My face goes sour. It’s my turn to rock. I thought I would start it off safe with a little lean back, lean back… and then slip into the Rockaway. All of a sudden I freeze up, catch a cramp in my leg and hit the floor. I didn’t know what the hell was happening. Even more “OOOOOHHHH!!s” now.

All of a sudden, his whole crew takes advantage and jumps me! There was this huge cloud of dust and I was at the bottom in the fetal position. Like six guys just Harlem Shaking on top of me (pause?). I think one of them was doing the Running Man too because I felt some feet near my groin. Anna ran and got help, so the assistant principal ended up coming out so everybody started running. I finally got up but the damage was already done.

I’m battered, bruised and only a few hours from the Harlem Shake contest. They just wanted to take me out so they can have tonight’s prize money all to themselves.

God I hate typing… more on the actual contest in a bit.